Pandora's box / by Joseph Castorino


For centuries weddings have been the same,

A boy and a girl to the altar came;

They chose a maid of honor and best man,

Always honoring God’s eternal plan;

But now boys join with boys and girls with girls,

As their large rainbow flag proudly unfurls;

Is our homeland one that totally rocks?

Or have we just opened Pandora’s box?

Without any doubt we must be PC,

Because, yes, this is the land of the free;

Therefore, let’s be sure to be inclusive,

For we don’t want to be called abusive;

Why must a civil union be a pair?

Somehow that just doesn’t seem to be fair;

Perhaps three, four, or even five might wed,

Though they might be hard to cram in one bed;

But why not also wed their pet poodle?

Just throw in the whole kit and kaboodle;

But if they can wed their cute little dog,

Then what about their flatulent green frog?

And if they wed humans and animals,

Then why not even add a few cannibals?

In fact, they don’t even have to stop there,    

Maybe they can add a tiger and bear;

They prevent their marriage from getting dull,

When they also wed a cadaver’s skull.