MRS. MALAPROP'S DECADENT BLUEBERRY PIE / by Joseph Castorino

 

The smug Mrs. Malaprop confidentially

  spoke to her newest apprentice:

“This recipe is only for those affluent

  in the language of the culinary arts;

It is absolutely imperial to use berries

  that have the same constancy as caviar,

This gives the pie a wealth of flavonoids,

  such as radical-free anti-accidents;

The key is to use an inordinative amount

  of sugar to make it exceedingly rich,

In fact, undubitably, the pie must be

  baked with an upper-upper crust."