The Lord of the Baseball Diamond / by Joseph Castorino


Seven-foot Sauron stands imperiously

   like a goliath on the mound,

Wearing his glistening, gleaming armor,

   he longs to be crowned;

His wind-up is Smaug-like and

   slithering and serpentine

As if he’s been guzzling and gulping

   hot Mordor turpentine;

Brimming with poison pride, he

   frantically fires a fastball of power,

That rings through the air

   as it aims to devour.


Recognizing the temptation,

   Mr. Baggins the most honorable,

Surrenders to the Spirit and humbly

   lays down a bunt phenomenal;

The baseball sneaks softly

   down the third-base line

And Mr. Baggins thinks to himself,

   First-base is all mine!

Then, like a slingshot, off to

   first base he invisibly darts,

And the burglar makes it safely

   because he’s so smarts.