MacScrooge and the Maelstrom of Diamonds / by Joseph Castorino


MacScrooge steered his sailing ship

  Towards the swirling maelstrom of mystery,

He heard that it held one of the most

  Tantalizing treasures in all of human history;

Old sailors say millions of sparkling

  Diamonds are twirling round and round,

Spinning like a glittering galaxy,

  The maelstrom makes a murmuring sound;

When he entered the Forbidden Sea,

  His ultimate goal was near,

He had heard that the vortex was deadly,

  And there was certainly reason to fear;

But more than anything else he wanted

  To own an envious pile of wealth,

Perhaps if he kept a safe distance,

  Then he might succeed through stealth.


From afar the magical whirlpool

  Shone with shimmering, glimmering light,

It was completely blanketed with diamonds

  Floating so very bright;

MacScrooge eased his ship carefully

  Into the whirlpool’s serpentine tail,

The waters seemed so peaceful

  That perhaps his mission wouldn’t fail;

As the waters crept along sleepily,

  Many gems by MacScrooge were collected,

With a heavy net he snatched them up,

  And there were many more than he expected;

His insatiable appetite for riches

  Grew through his laborious task,

MacScrooge’s beard dripped with sweat,

  So he took a drink out of his flask.


MacScrooge became so obsessed with diamonds

  That of surroundings he lost all sense,

But when his ship suddenly surged forward,

  He abruptly became very tense;

He noticed that the ship’s speed had

  Augmented in a very disturbing way,

The sea rapidly became rather turbulent,

  And it was turning into an ominous day;

Black clouds swiftly eclipsed the sun,

  And extinguished nearly all of its light,

MacScrooge’s heart sank like an anchor,

  And he trembled with terror and fright;

An icy, wicked wind began to blow,

  And he saw the waters violently churn,

Sadly, MacScrooge knew it was too late --

  He was beyond the point of no return.


From the center of the whirlpool

  There was an explosive and thunderous blast,

MacScrooge knew that something dangerous

  Was approaching very, very fast;

Then the vortex vomited sulphurous lava

  That sprayed high into the skies,

And molten rock fell like blazing meteors,

  A dreadful sight for his eyes;

The flaming boulders struck the sea

  And every diamond was ignited,

When MacScrooge saw the maelstrom on fire,

  He had never been less delighted;

Faster and faster the murderous maelstrom spun,

  Like a whirling wheel of fire,

And all of these events were triggered

  By MacScrooge’s inordinate desire.


MacScrooge had arrived at the mouth

  Of the vortex, and clearly this was not good,

While his ship was burning in ferocious

  Flames that hungrily ate its wood;

A vile, horrid, foul stench arose from

  Deep within the cavernous abyss,

This was far, far different from his dream,

  Of power and worldly bliss;

His ship plunged down into the funnel,

  In a death spiral leading towards hell,

And clutching the helm tightly,

  MacScrooge cursed and swore as he fell;

Then volcanic lightning blasted him

  And cooked the flesh off of his head,

The ship disappeared into the void below

  And, tragically, MacScrooge was dead.


When Lady MacScrooge heard the shocking news,

  Terror gripped her heart,

Like MacScrooge she lusted for power,

  But now she wished to make a fresh start;

She would try to avoid all temptations

  That invited her to hoard,

Instead she would strive for love and peace

  Just like our Blessed Lord;

MacScrooge did only what he wanted,

  And that’s how he rolled the dice,

He avoided not the near occasion of sin,

  And that’s when he paid the price;

Since MacScrooge gambled with temptation,

  In the end he only got hurt,

It would have been better for him,

  If he had remained sober, vigilant, and alert.