The Lord of the Pitcher's Mound / by Joseph Castorino


Seven-foot Sauron stands imperiously

  like a goliath on the mound,

Wearing his glistening, gleaming armor,

  he longs to be crowned;

His wind-up is Smaug-like

  and slithering and serpentine,

As if he’s been guzzling and gulping

  hot Mordor turpentine;

Brimming with poison pride,

  he frantically fires a fastball of power,

That rings through the air

  as it aims to devour.


But Gandalf hits a flaming line drive

  that decapitates Sauron’s poor head,

This fire-eyed fool paid for his arrogance,

  and that’s why he’s doornail dead;

Sauron was buried on the pitcher’s mound,

  where it came to be known as Mount Doom,

That night there were post-game fireworks

  that erupted from his fiery tomb.